


The Official Avengers Vine Account

by AllyTheBrave, Duke307, FlyByNightGirl, jumpjiveandfail, lapoesieestdanslarue, nataliadormier



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-12-14
Updated: 2015-01-20
Packaged: 2018-03-01 03:24:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 16,764
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2757752
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AllyTheBrave/pseuds/AllyTheBrave, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Duke307/pseuds/Duke307, https://archiveofourown.org/users/FlyByNightGirl/pseuds/FlyByNightGirl, https://archiveofourown.org/users/jumpjiveandfail/pseuds/jumpjiveandfail, https://archiveofourown.org/users/lapoesieestdanslarue/pseuds/lapoesieestdanslarue, https://archiveofourown.org/users/nataliadormier/pseuds/nataliadormier
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Do it for the Vi-- Caw Caw Motha-- PARKOUR!!</p><p>Basically the Avengers get a vine account.<br/>Vines so far: 123</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The first vine is from the lovely [ Weetaeil ](http://weetaeil.tumblr.com/) because it's the [ best post in the world](http://weetaeil.tumblr.com/post/84035830961/the-avengers-all-get-vine-accounts-and-the-first) and inspired this entire thing so.

VINE App download successful.

Sign up with email --  
Log in with Twitter 

What is your name?  
\-- the_official_avengers

.::. Start making videos today! .::. 

 

__________________________________

.::. November 24, 2014  
1:54pm 

[Selfie-mode camera on Tony Stark, walking towards the staircase smirking] 

"Parkour!" Tony shoves Bruce Banner down the stairs. 

[Camera cuts to Tony screaming and running, the Hulk behind him.]

________________________________

 

.::. November 24, 2014  
3:24pm

[Selfie-mode camera on Tony again. One eye is swollen and he has a split lip.] 

"Alright, now that everyone has calmed down -" [camera swings around as Tony gives a pointed look at a guilty looking Bruce] "- I have something to show you all."

[camera cuts to Natasha sitting on the floor and chewing bubblegum as she plays Risk with Steve and Thor] 

"Is it more or less exciting than the robot that spills coffee everywhere?" 

"More. And Dum-E tries. Anyway, i got the Avengers a vine. Winner of an arm-wrestling match gets the password." 

[Instant cheers and bickering commence before the camera cuts out.]

_________________________________

 

.::. November 24, 2014  
7:07pm 

[Selfie-mode camera on a smug Bucky Barnes.] 

"I think this is the first time Thor's been beat in anything. He's pretty upset about it, moping around like somebody kicked his puppy. More like flung it across the room with a metal arm."

[sounds of Natasha laughing in the background. Steve shouts from off camera--]

"Don't encourage him!"

[Bucky laughs and winks at someone offscreen before turning back to the camera.]

"On the bright side, Steve asked Tony why he keeps his plants password-protected."

[Camera suddenly flies to the side and lands on the ground, catching a glimpse of plaid and blonde tackling a laughing Bucky to the ground.]

______________________________

 

.::. November 25, 2014  
9:31am

[Camera view from the wall cove overlooking the top floor of the Avengers tower. Steve is sitting at the counter, picking up an apple.]

"Do it," whispers Bucky from behind the camera. 

[Camera shifts to the side to film Clint drawing back an arrow in his bow. Camera quickly angles back towards Steve and his apple. The arrow releases and sticks directly in the center of the apple, centimeters before it is in Steve's mouth. The momentum sends the apple flying out of Steve's hand.]

"Caw caw motherfucker!" Clint cackles. 

[Both Bucky and Clint nearly fall off Clint's perch from laughing so hard. A stunned Steve is frozen for a moment before he turns his head and looks dejectedly at the apple on the ground. Bucky and Clint laugh harder.]

_______________________________

 

.::. November 25, 2014  
10:17am 

[Camera angle from same wall cove as before, filming Tony Stark walking towards the fridge.]

[The fridge opens and Tony pulls out a carton of orange juice. Bucky snorts from behind the camera. Clint pulls back another arrow.] 

"Fuck!" [Tony drops the orange juice in surprise as an arrow lodges in the side, spraying sticky sweet orange liquid everywhere.]

"Caw caw motherfucker!" 

[Clint and Bucky break into peels of laughter again.] 

[Steve comes running into the kitchen, sees the mess, and sighs.]

"You too?" 

[Camera cuts to a wavering shot of a homeade sign in Steve's handwriting hanging on the fridge door. Bucky is out of breath as he reads it out loud.] 

" _Warning: dangerous snipers sniping all food and drinks. Consume elsewhere._ Clint oh my god you have to come see this!" 

_______________________________

 

.::. November 25, 2014  
2:38pm 

[Camera from another high view point, overlooking the lobby entrance of the Avengers tower.]

[Phil Coulson walks inside the front doors with a plastic cup of coffee in his hand.]

"Now," [Bucky whispers. The arrow flies again, sticking directly in the side of Phil's coffee cup.]

[Phil calmly plucks out the arrow, takes the chewing gum out of his mouth to stop up the hole in the cup, and keeps walking and whistling. He takes a sip of his coffee just before he walks off screen.]

[Camera moves slowly to Clint. Clint is staring sadly at his abandoned arrow with a look.]

"Caw caw?"

[Clint's voice is quiet and sad. Bucky nearly falls again from laughing so hard.] 

_______________________________

 

.::. November 26, 2014  
6:46pm 

[Camera is on a long fancy table in a window-laden room of the Avengers tower. Each of the plates at the table has a monogrammed card propped on the center. Bucky's voice begins to narrate.]

"So we're doing an Avengers Thanksgiving and I had to show you guys the placenames Tony gave us all." 

[Camera begins to move slowly around the table, stopping at each plate to read off the name in embroidered glitter lettering.]

"First, we have 'Goldilocks the ET God.' Then 'Chickadee Birdfeed,' which I'm pretty sure is Clint."

"Okay, then there's 'Green Geek Freak,' sitting right next to, of course, the 'Iron Giant.'"

[Tony's place card is bigger than everyone else's and done in red and gold lettering. A metal hand reaches out to flick it over to flop on its back. The camera rounds the corner and keeps going.]

"Here, we have 'That One Friend of Steve's,' which is still the only thing Tony calls Sam Wilson. Even to his face."

"Next is Natasha's, which reads 'Natasha,' because Tony may be stupid but he's not suicidal." 

"Then 'The Star Spangled Ass,' which is obviously Steve, who's sitting next to me."

"Apparently, I'm just 'The Winter Boyfriend,' now. I may have to take that up with Steve, because if he's been dating somebody else these past few summers...we're gonna have bigger problems than lame ass place cards."

[Camera cuts to the hallway as Bucky shouts.] 

"Isn't that right, honey?" 

"Bucky are you still on that fern thing?" 

_______________________________

.::. November 28, 2014  
11:20am 

[Camera in front of rock wall in the Avengers tower. Steve gives the camera a thumbs up. Bucky groans off screen at his enthusiasm.]

"Parkour!" 

[Camera cuts to Steve nearing a ledge and flipping to the next one. Cuts again to a body twist in the air.]

"Aww, Stevie c'mon, that's boring. You're not supposed to _actually_ do parkour." [Bucky complains from where he's filming and Steve reaches the top of a ledge and glares at him.]

"PARKOUR!" 

[Steve shouts down at Bucky. The Hulk appears from nowhere and barrels into Steve, both of their bodies flying off screen. Camera tips and cuts off in the middle of laughter. Camera cuts back to a disheveled Steve scowling and stalking back towards Bucky who is still laughing.]

"Oh my god - that was just like that one asdf video on YouTube. The guy's standing there like 'I like trains' and then this train comes out of nowhere and just smashes him like [terrible imitation of train noises.]"

[Steve glares harder at the camera and Bucky who is standing behind it, crossing his arms.]

"Except I really don't like trains." 

"...oh."

[Camera cuts off with a click.]

_____________________________

.::. November 28, 2014  
1:45pm

[Camera is approaching a vent from inside the ceiling, Natasha's whispering voice behind the camera.]

"Tony gave all the Avengers the vine password because Bucky made everyone cry in his last vine. So it's time we get a little revenge on Bucky Barnes." 

[The camera closes up to the ceiling vent, angling between slats to open up the view below. Bucky and Thor are sitting back to back while Clint sits beside them, doing something his his hands. Bucky starts complaining and by the look on Clint's face it's not the first time he's complained.]

"You owe me so much for this Barton." 

"Whatever. You said you'd help and I've never had two friends with long enough hair to braid together before you moved in. So you can deal. It looks awesome by the way, the blonde and brunette twists." 

[Thor just sits, looking rather content. Bucky makes an exasperated sound at Clint. Clint pauses, taking a step back and opening up the view for the camera to see Bucky and Thor's hair braided together.]

"It looks awesome. Can I take a picture?" 

"NO! If anyone even so much as hears about this, I'll murder you in your sleep. I've got seventy years of assassination experience over you and I'm not afraid to use it." 

[Clint looks a little concerned and Natasha lets out a low whistle behind the camera.]

"Damn, looks like I get Clint's floor now."

 

_______________________________

 

.::. November 30, 2014

10:01am 

[Camera on Clint with a Paris street in the background. Natasha is talking behind the camera.]

"So Clint got paranoid and decided we should take a trip to Europe until Bucky calms down. This is our third country and I think Clint has a problem."

[Clint walks up to a French woman with a terrier on a leash and asks her a question, pointing at her dog.]

"Peux-je caresser votre chien?" (Can I pet your dog.) 

[The woman looks at him strangely but nods and Clint instantly stoops, rubbing the terrier's head. Natasha sighs and looks at the woman. ]

"Il est toujours comme ça." (He's always like this.) 

[Camera cuts to a street in Spain and a mastiff on a leash. Clint is gesturing at the dog again.] 

"Puedo acariciar a tu perro?" 

[Camera cuts to a festival in Slovania. Clint shouts over the crowd to a man with a bulldog.]

"Lahko i hišne psa?" 

[Camera cuts to a snowy Russian marketplace. Clint is shivering as he walks up to a man with a Saint Bernard then gestures at Natasha. She sighs and asks in Russian for Clint.]

"Он может погладить вашу собакy?"

[The man nods and Clint instantly reaches forward to pet the dog. Natasha sighs and speaks to the man again before looking affectionately at Clint.]

"Извините. Он всегда так." (Sorry. He's always like this.) 

_______________________________

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How this works: new vines will be posted all the time. As they are posted, the "vine count" in the work summary will be updated.  
> The original and first ten will be in Chapter 1 in the above order because they set the pretense and are all related. 
> 
> New vines will be posted in Chapter 2 with the newest ones on top, as with the vine app.
> 
> That way if you want to see more vines since the last you checked, you can just go to chapter 2 and treat that as a vine feed - without having to scroll past all the ones you've already read. 
> 
> If you have any vines to submit, you can submit them here:
> 
> If you want to be added as a co author, leave a comment and we'll talk it out.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam is very scared.... and other shenanigans.

.::. December 1, 2014  
7:46 pm

[Selfie-mode on Sam Wilson. He is in a very dark room with only the light of the camera illuminating him as he whispers to the camera.]

"Okay, man, this is terrifying. I pulled an idiot move and kinda did something earlier to Natasha." [Sam pauses, listening for a moment before he whispers to the camera again.] "I'm really regretting it right now. And maybe fearing for my life."

[A sound startles Sam, making him jump as all the camera picks up distant voices.

"Hey, have you seen Sam today, Buck?" [Sam relaxes. It's only Steve.]

________________________________

.::. December 2, 2014  
1:48 am

[Camera shows Bruce surrounded by various machines]

"Do it." Tony says.

"Are you sure?" [Bruce asks nervously, hands in his pockets as he looks from the machines to Tony.]

"Do it. For the vine." Tony says.

[Bruce sighs as he presses a button. The skylight opens. All the machines go off. The Star-Spangled Banner starts playing. Fireworks start going off. A big spotlight angles from the roof to shine a huge glowing blue light on one of the windows of the Avengers' Tower. The center of the blue glow illuminates a silhouette of Steve. The silhouette jumps, appearing startled through the window.]

[A faint snicker and pat on the back is heard.]

"Beautiful," says Tony, victorious.

_______________________________

.::. December 2, 2014  
10:00 am

[Camera opens on Steve with his arms crossed, looking absolutely pissed in his red plaid pajama bottoms and faded t-shirt. He's in his disapproving-of-Tony-mode with a disappointed frown and narrowed eyes.]

"Stark. I thought you were supposed to be one of the good guys. That was a hell of a lot more like _just evil_ back there." 

"I prefer the term 'evil _genius_ '. Besides..." [Tony smirks and shrugs.] "...It was Bruce's idea."

[Bruce punches Tony in the arm. Tony laughs and Steve rolls his eyes, still obviously annoyed. His attention is quickly averted though, as Bucky appears on screen and stalks up angrily to Tony, metal hand fisting his shirt as he leans in close to hiss in Tony's face.]

"You're a dead man, Stark. You gave Steve a damn heart attack." 

"So many compliments and it's only ten. Plus Roger's is a big boy." [Tony smiles at Bucky, rolling his eyes at the vehemence in Bucky's words.] 

"It wasn't that big of a deal, it wasn't like he was naked or anything?" [Bruce offers, trying to ease the blow a little. That doesn't seem to go over well with Bucky.]

"You shut your mouth," [Bucky warns, pointing a metal finger in Bruce's direction. Tony instantly steps up in Bruce's defense, putting up both hands in a signal to placate him as he opens his mouth with his signature condescending tone.] 

"Relax, Winter Boyfriend. It's was 'armless."

[Camera zooms in on Bucky staring at Tony, his eyes widening as he catches the joke then instantly shutting down. He turns to the camera. Pure 110% Bitch-faced.]

[Tony seems to realize what he's just done.]

"Oh shit."

_______________________________

.::. December 2, 2014  
10:17 am

[Camera comes to focus in selfie-mode on Sam and Tony sitting in Tony's lab with their backs against the steel door. Both look fairly disheveled and terrified. Tony is looking off into the distance in horror and Sam clears his throat before speaking quietly to the camera.]

"We've got two Russian assassins after us." 

[He grimaces and looks at Tony. Tony keeps staring off into the distance, whispering quietly under his breath.]

"We are so fucked."

_______________________________

.::. December 2, 2014  
11:15 am

[Camera opens on Tony's lab again, this time Tony is lining his Iron Man suits up in front of the door. He stations another suit underneath a ceiling vent, hand aiming upwards and ready to fire. Then he turns and faces the camera Sam is holding.]

"So after a mini breakdown, we've decided to bulk up for the fight. I'd like to see him get past all of _this_."

[Tony swings his arm, indicating the room's extreme defensive measures. Sam zooms the camera in on the mousetraps placed strategically along the floor before speaking up.]

"I'm pretty sure he could get past this with his eyes closed. So could Natasha. Hell, maybe even _Steve_ \--"

"Not helping," [Tony snaps. Then he looks upward, making a twirling motion with his finger.]

"Jarvis, monitor this room okay? Don't let anybody in. Hell, don't let anyone on this _floor_."

"Sir, Sergeant Barnes could easily disable my system. He has full access."

"WHAT?? WHY??" 

[Tony suddenly looks very upset, and somehow even more terrified. JARVIS take a moment before answering.]

"Well...he is part robot sir. I think we might be...what do you call it. Friends."

[Tony wails in anguish and clutches a hand over his arc reactor. Sam snorts at the implication Tony could have a legitimate heart, although he is in the screen now and looks just as terrified as Tony does.]

"MY OWN AI SYSTEM HAS BETRAYED ME."

_____________________________

December 2, 2014  
11:34 am

[Camera opens on Bruce and Thor playing chess.]

"Your move, Doctor Banner." 

[Thor places his bishop in line with Bruce's knight. Bruce takes a moment to consider the move, then scoots a pawn forward a space.]

"And you, Thor."

_____________________________

December 2, 2014  
5:56 pm

[Camera back in Tony's lab. Tony is sitting on a desk with his feet swinging, an elbow propped on his knee and head resting in his hand. Sam is poking at Dum-E, making it swivel around in confusion.]

"I think the anticipation and the waiting is worse than the murder," [Tony grumbles, kicking a trashcan that was too close to his desk. Sam watches dejectedly as it tips over and few paper balls tumble onto the ground.]

"What even did you do again?" [Sam asks, looking away from Dum-E for a moment. Dum-E takes the opportunity to pinch Sam's arm. Sam curses lightly and glares at the robot before scooting a few feet away.]

"I humiliated his boyfriend then made a pun about his arm."

"Ouch."

"I know." [They both sit in bored silence for another moment. Then Tony turns his head, looking over at Sam.] "The hell did you do to Natasha?"

[Sam suddenly looks extremely remorseful, staring down at his hands and shaking his head.]

"I hit her in the face with a pie, man."

"Oh god. And you've survived this long so far? That's actually quite surprising, especially for someone who's not even super at all in any way shape or form besides the wings that you didn't even _design_ , just flaunt around like some damn bird guy."

[Sam glares, but decides to let the Falcon comment go, just sighing and thinking back on Natasha not killing him yet.]

"I know. That's what scares me. At least they won't find us in here."

_____________________________

December 2, 2014  
5:58 pm

[Camera opens on Bucky and Natasha on one of Tony's white couches. Natasha is sharpening a knife casually and Bucky appears to be cleaning out his sniper rifle. She looks up with a Natalie-Dormer smile as Bucky holds up the camera in selfie-mode.]

"You idiots do realize that by posting videos of WHERE YOU ARE and just how SCARED YOU ARE to the PUBLIC Avengers account gives both Talia and I your _exact_ location and a leg up on fighting technique?"

[Both of them smile at the camera. Natasha says something in Russian and Bucky tips his head back and laughs. The camera cuts.]

_____________________________

December 2, 2014  
7:03 pm

[Camera focuses in selfie-mode in a very dark, black, extremely general and nondescript closet with absolutely no prevalent markings or recognizable signs of location. Tony and Sam are both looking at the camera, attempting to hold brave faces even though they both look fairly shaken.]

[They exchange glances, then Tony clears his throat and speaks to the camera, somehow managing to sound a little snobbish through his fear.]

"Well, come find us _now_ , Winter Boyfriend." 

[Before Tony says the final "d" of "boyfriend," a loud crash and a flood of light suddenly fill the camera screen. Splinters of the kicked-down door fly everywhere and both Tony and Sam clutch each other frantically and scream bloody murder. The camera flips from selfie-mode to normal mode, showing two dark silhouettes standing in the doorway and the glint of a metal arm. The camera cuts off as Sam and Tony are still holding each other and screaming.]

___________________________

December 2, 2014  
7:04 pm

[Camera opens on a chess board with two very focused men sitting at it. Bruce suddenly grins, sliding his queen into a perfect position to corner Thor's king.]

"Checkmate."

[Thor scowls. Then he dumps the board to the side, sweeping the pieces into two piles and shoving the darker pieces towards Bruce before starting to reset the board up to initial playing position.]

"Again," Thor declares.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so apparently we decided to change the format. Right now we're just posting ten vines per chapter, although we may eventually combine chapters so they each hold twenty, then thirty, or so on. It just seems a hell of a lot easier that way. 
> 
> Hope you enjoy! Thank you so much for reading. 
> 
> As always, leave suggestions for vines or arcs (like Sam and Tony being terrified) in the comments! We can take on one or two more coauthors if anyone is still interested!
> 
> xx
> 
> FBNG ND KB


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Snow!!

December 4, 2014  
7:03 am

[Camera is looking out of one of the top windows of the Avengers' Tower. The city of New York is stretched out underneath the view, glittering windows and tall steel buildings in a perfectly angled aesthetic view. Everything is covered in a few inches of white powder, snow drifting in and out of the camera screen. Flurries spin over the side of the windows below, crystals reflecting in the light. The sun is barely in the sky, just swirls of red and gold falling over the scene.]

"It's snowing." [Bruce says softly behind the screen.]

[camera cuts.]

____________________

 

December 4, 2014  
7:31 am

[Wild shaking of the camera and screaming start the video, eventually stabilizing to see Clint in selfie-mode, already laughing as he ducks to dodge a snowball and tries to speak to the camera.]

"N-Nat is over here _flipping_ out because it snow. No, literally, _flipping_..." [Clint dodges another snowball and flips the camera around.]

[Natasha and Clint are just outside the Avengers' Tower, playing in the snow-covered mini park Tony bought that sits juxtaposed to the back of the tower. Natasha has a huge smile on her face and is scooping up another handful of snow to pack into a ball. Clint is still laughing at her surprising enthusiasm, tossing a snowball in her direction. She rolls to the side to dodge it, succeeding in getting herself covered in snow. More snow is falling on her red hair and she cheers as she flips forward, using the momentum to peg the snowball at Clint.]

"Oof, goddamn you-" [The camera dips down to show Clint's stomach, which is now covered in snow. Clint moves the camera back to Natasha, who tips back her head and laughs wickedly. Clint curses, tossing a half-ass snowball her way that lands pitifully at her feet.]

"Why do you even like this stuff so much?" [Clint asks, packing a better snowball this time. Natasha spins around in a happy little circle, head tipped back and tongue out to catch snow. Then she throws her arms at, shouting her answer to the world.]

"Россия!!" [Russian for "Russia!"]

[While Natasha is shouting at the sky, Clint pegs her in the face with a snowball. It explodes everywhere and Clint falls to the ground laughing.]

____________________

December 4, 2014  
7:42 am

[Camera opens to a view a figure looking out the window at the snow, metal hand gently resting on the glass. Steve steps up behind a pajama-clad Bucky, wrapping his arms around Bucky's waist and resting his chin on the shoulder of Buck's faded blue t-shirt with Steve's shield on the front. The camera is in selfie mode now, held at a low angle to show both of their faces without Bucky noticing.]

"It's started snowing. And it's damn freezing." [Bucky turns his head to the side to look at Steve over his shoulder. Steve kisses Bucky's shoulder through the t-shirt.]

"Want to bundle up and go outside?" [Steve asks, tipping his head to the side to look at Bucky. Bucky sighs, looking back out the window.]

"I think we've both had enough ice for a lifetime." [Bucky frowns as he taps his metal fingers on the glass and Steve laughs, pulling Bucky in tighter to his chest.]

"Alright then, what do you say we go warm up in bed? I think I know a few ways I could make you forget all about the cold..." [Steve raises his eyebrows suggestively at Bucky, getting a choked laugh out of him.]

"Steven Grant Rogers! Aren't you supposed to be the innocent one?" [Bucky smiles wide and swivels around in Steve's arms. He leans up and kisses Steve messily, metal hand coming up to thumb over Steve's jaw as he pushes them both back towards the bed. Steve giggles into Bucky's mouth, winks at the camera, and the camera cuts out.]

_______________________

 

December 4, 2014  
8:30 am

[The screen shows a quick shot of Tony as he puts his finger to his lips. The camera turns to show a door with two overlapping stars, a red and a blue one. Tony basically kicks down the door.]

"THE WEATHER OUTSIDE IS FRIGHTFUL!!!!"

"WHAT THE FUCK?!?"

[Quick change of scene. A window is opened up to the view of a crazy snowfight below, swirls of white accenting a flash of bright red hair on one side of the park and blond hair on the other.]

"THE WEATHER OUTSIDE IS FRIGHTFUL!!!!!!"

"BUT THE FIRE IS SO DELIGHTFUL!!!" [Clint screams back at the open window.]

"AND SINCE WE GOT NO PLACE TO GOOOOOO!!!"

Tony starts, "LET IT SN-"

[A snowball comes flying at the camera and the video is suddenly cut off.]

____________________

 

December 4, 2014  
8:50 am

[Bruce shows the same snow scene from his first vine, a sweeping scape of the city in freshly fallen snow.]

"I know I showed this earlier...but look at the fragility, the pureness, the way it just-"

[A flash of light fills the room as Tony - full clad in his Iron Man suit - shoots down in front of Bruce. Singing...]

"THE WEATHER OUTSIDE IS FRIGHTFUL!!!!!!!"

"NO! MY VINE!"

[Loud noises begin. Tony screams. Video cuts off.]

____________________

 

December 4, 2014  
10:20 am

[Camera shows Pepper calmly looking out a window, wrapped up in a fluffy white sweater and holding a cup of hot chocolate. She smiles fondly at Nat and Clint's snowball war outside.]

"THE-"

"Not right now, Tony."

[Tony sighs VERY audibly. He walks up to the window to peer out at Natasha and Clint. Pepper gives him a sly smile before she looks back outside too]

"If you weren't so busy trying to annoy everyone in this house, that could be us out there playing the snow."

[Pepper nudges Tony with her arm and he grumbles something about it being "a tower not a house" before he settles down and leans his weight against Pepper. Pepper lays her head on Tony's shoulder and they look out at the screaming, laughing assassins in the snow and sigh together.]

____________________

December 4, 2014  
3:45 pm

[The camera shows a very distressed looking Peter Parker hanging by his webs between two buildings, with Tony laughing uncontrollably behind the camera.]

 

"He-His-Webs-" [Tony chokes on his laughter.] "Got-Frozen!"

"Tony! _SOMEONE!_ Help!"

" _LET IT GO!_ "

[Tony's laughter increases.]

_______________

December 4, 2014  
6:00pm

 

[Camera zoomed in on a close up of a sleeping kitten in Bucky's hand. Bucky smiles into the camera while Steve looks bored]

"We got a cat!"

" _You_ got a cat."

"We found the poor doll outside in a box in the snow."

" _You_ found her outside in the snow."

"Me and Steve love her so much."

[Bucky coos as he peppers kisses onto the kitten's forehead.]

"No, _you_ love her."

[The camera cuts to a shot of Steve asleep in bed, with an arm around the kitten, who's curled into his chest.]

\--------------

December 4, 2014  
7:15pm

[The camera is on selfie-mode with Natasha and Clint. They have two mugs in their hands, each steaming hot.]

"OH THE WEATHER OUTSIDE IS-"

[Tony is cut off by Natasha whipping around in her seat and flinging the mug in his direction. He screams, but she just turns back and takes a sip out of Clint's.]

_______________

Decmber 4, 2014  
9:00pm

[A full six seconds of Bucky lying on his stomach on carpeted floor, with the kitten playing and swatting at his hair which is falling down into his eyes.]

\---------------

 

December 4, 2014  
10:34 pm

[Camera shows Tony on the couch with a beer. Camera changes to selfie-mode. It shows Coulson, face calm. He sits down next to Tony.]

"The weather outside is frightful-"

[Tony lights up at Coulson's song, smiling hugely as he joins in.] "But the fire is so delightful."

[Coulson slings an arm around Tony. Tony does the same.]

"And since we got no place to go!"

"Let it snow! Let it snow! Let is snow!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Stay tuned for an abundance of Christmas Vines! And there may or may not be an Avenger that is allergic to cats...
> 
> Thank you all for reading! We'll be putting your vine ideas in here, we promise! Leave more comments :)
> 
> xx


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After weeks of silence, the Avengers come out to play. And Kittens.

December 17, 2014  
7:13 am

[Camera shows Thor, Steve, Bucky, Bruce, Nat, Clint, etc. on the couch excluding Tony, who's holding the camera.]

"So Jarvis is an asshole," says Tony.

[Steve and Nat snort simultaneously and Thor laughs, throwing his head back.]

"No shit, Sherlock." [Camera pans down to Clint, looking pissed with his arms crossed over his chest.]

"If you want to know why everyone is so pissy, it's because Jarvis decided to change the password of our vine account so we can 'get real lives' or whatever," [Bruce explains to the camera.]

"Until recently," [Tony flips the camera so it shows him, smiling.] "when I successfully hacked him."

"Bullshit," [Camera goes back to Bucky with the cat in his lap] "I was the one who persuaded Jarv to give us the new password."

"DON'T CALL HIM THAT! I'M HIS BEST FRIEND!" [Tony points a finger accusingly at Bucky before the pissed-off-front is entirely spoiled as he suddenly sneezes. Very loudly. The video cuts hastily.]

_____________________________

December 17, 2014  
12:33 pm

[Camera opens in selfie mode on Bruce. He's holding up a bottle of something.]

"So while Jarvis had the account on lockdown, Tony spent a week trying all of his alcohols on Steve to try to get him drunk. None of them worked, although I have to admit this one had the strength to knock _me_ off my feet."

[Bruce turns the bottle so he is looking at the label, contemplating for a moment before he looks back at the camera.]

"However, Bucky did let it spill that he knew of a drink that could actually get Steve drunk. Tony's been ridiculing him for it, but Bucky just laughs and refuses to tell him anything. It's been ongoing. Just so you all know."

[Camera clicks out.]

____________________

December 18, 2014  
7:45 am  
[The camera is on selfie mode, with the Avengers gathered tightly together behind Bucky. Steve is to his left, holding the kitten.]

"Emergency team meeting! Okay, me and Steve have got big announcement-"

[In the background, Natasha squeals and claps her hands.]

"Oh I _knew_ it!! You guys are getting married! I totally called this. Barton, my $20 please--"

[Steve's eyes are wide as he blushes furiously and looks down at the ground, while Bucky has gone very quiet and still.]

"No. Nat, Jesus-- _NO_. Not that I don't want...I mean. Fuck. We decided on the name for the fucking cat."

[Everyone's face falls, and Natasha lets out a disappointed 'aww'. Steve is still slightly red and quite purposefully distracting himself by petting the kitten.]

" _Anyway,_ we've decided to call her Nollaig. It means Christmas or Winter in Irish."

[Next to him, Steve's tickling Nollaig's ears and cooing.]

____________

December 18, 2014  
8:03 am 

[Camera in normal mode, filming Steve's back as Bucky walks up. Steve is flipping pancakes.]

"Hey Steve?"

"Hey what?" [Steve asks distractedly, flipping another pancake. There's a soft meow off screen and Bucky dips the camera down to view Nollaig winding herself in between and over Steve's feet.]

"Did you know they named a book store after us?" [Bucky asks, still filming Nollaig. Steve abandons the pancakes to stoop down and scratch at her little head before looking up at Bucky.] 

"Really?" [Nollaig purrs into Steve's hand. The pancakes sound like they are starting to sizzle.]

"Yeah, big one too. It's called Barnes & Noble." 

[Steve stops petting Nollaig and just looks up at Bucky, the expression on his face slightly confused but otherwise unreadable.]

"...I can't tell if you're joking or trying to compliment me." 

[Bucky snorts. Steve just looks at him. Silence.]

[Nollaig meows and both of their attention breaks as Steve scoops it up and Bucky steps forward to take her, already cooing as the camera cuts.]

______________________

December 18, 2014  
3:45 pm

[The camera is on selfie-mode, showing a large, smiling Thor.]

"My dear midgardians!" [He booms. So earphone wearers be ware.]

"It has occurred to me after a late night of festivity with my fellow teammates that your midgardian alcoholic beverages are quite depressingly weak. They will not put hairs on your chest, nor improve your weak taste buds!"

[The camera switches to a large wooden crate, and then back to Thor.]

"For that reason, myself, Lady Jane and Lady Darcy will be serving the finest of Asgardian mead at McLarens bar at the 34th Street at 2 o'clock this afternoon." [Thor beams at the camera, raising his eyebrows slightly.] "However, only a select few shall be allowed in, so please arrive early. Or else you shall be- as my Lady Darcy says- a square!"

____________

 

December 18, 2014  
9:00 pm

[The camera focuses on Nollaig, who's sleeping soundly on a large pile of hoodies and blankets, her small body nearly lost amongst the huge collection.]

[The camera flips to selfie mode on a very miserable-looking red and watery-eyed Tony, who is glaring despicably in the direction of the kitten.]

"That cat is the devil incarnate," [He whispers vehemently at the camera before his eyes suddenly go wide, terrified.]

"No-No! Good kitty- No-"

[The camera cuts to the floor, but a flurry of sneezes can be heard and a soft 'meow'.]

_______________________

December 19, 2014  
11:30 am

[Selfie mode on Darcy]

"Thor's gonna try some of what we consider to be stereotypical 21st century American things! Number 1-"

[The camera cuts to a large Starbucks take-away cup.]

"-A pumpkin spice latte. Not the season, I know, but thanks Levi from Starbucks!"

[The camera flips to Thor who is sitting at a table and smiling down at the cup.]

[He raises it to his mouth, takes a sip, and his eyes go wide. He tips the cup up, and within seconds he thumps the now-empty cup on the table.]

"Incredible! Like a mighty feast for your tastebuds," [Thor says incredulously, staring at the cup.] "Lady Darcy, another, if you please!"

_____________________________

December 19, 2014  
12:45 pm

[The camera is moving up and down as someone walks past a sign that reads 'Dog Park.' The camera then cuts to two dogs playing excitedly with each other while Thor laughs loudly in the background.]

[The camera cuts to Thor holding both of the two dogs, one cradled in each arm as he smiles widely and looks between the both of them.]

"These beasts are both a good friend and mighty warriors! I commend you greatly on your choice of household animal, midgardians."

[Thor laughs loudly as the dogs lean up to lick his face.]

"Well done indeed!"

_____________________________

December 19, 2014  
3:30 pm

"Steven Grant Rogers! I cannot believe you have not added Game of Thrones to your list!" [Camera shows Steve blushing red and slightly overwhelmed as Clint throws his arms up in Steve's direction, making a general 'what the fuck' motion with his hands.]

"How does everyone know my full name?" [Steve asks exasperatedly. Clint makes bigger 'what the fuck' motions with his hands. Steve is still looking overwhelmed as he address Clint again.] 

"I'm sorry! I didn't realize how big of a deal it was, talking about the dragon girl." [Steve gestures generally in some random direction before his eyes suddenly widen and he quickly brings up his hands to block the pillow Clint just hurled at him. The pillow bounces off ineffectively.]

"HER NAME IS DAENERYS TARGARYEN, YOU IGNORANT SWINE!!!" [Clint yells exaggeratedly. A brief moment of silence falls over them both as they stare at each other, Steve's eyes still wide and Clint red in the face from yelling. Then the silence breaks and they both laugh at each other's faces.]

"What am I missing?"

"AHHHHHHHHHH!!!" [Clint jumps basically ten feet as Bucky has once again been able to sneak on him.]

________________________________

December 19, 2014  
6:36 pm

[Camera shows Clint in selfie mode and throws a thumbs up to the camera before he turns his attention to the couch, where a metal arm is carefully rubbing down Nollaig's little back.] "Hey Bucky?"

[Bucky takes a moment to stop petting Nollaig.] "What is it?"

"Y'know that really annoying thing you do? When you sneak up on people?"

"Yeah, sorry about that, it's that whole seventy years as a tortured assassin thing..."

[Bucky smirks at him and Clint rolls his eyes.] "Yeah, I know, but how about you make all our lives a little easier by refraining from scaring all the other trained assassins? Tell you what, every time you walk in a room you have to say 'Winter is Coming' okay?"

[Bucky squints, looking a little chagrined.] "I don't get it."

"It would be so cool." [Clint pouts. Clearly, there is a joke there that Bucky is missing.]

"Uh, okay, just as long as I don't see that face anymore. Please. Stop." [Bucky says, wrinkling his nose as Clint gives a camera another thumbs up and ends the video.]

_________________________________

December 19, 2014  
7:15 pm

[Camera opens on Tony in selfie mode, just outside the doors of the Avengers' Tower gym. He has his scientific-proving face on as he explains his plan flatly to the camera.]

"Clint Barton is a dramatic asshole and today we're going to MythBust one of his most famous sayings. I'm here to prove to you all the real truth behind the Hawk-guy." [He nods once to the camera then opens up the door to the gym, switching it off of selfie-mode. The camera searches the upper rafters for a second before it finds Clint perched in a corner. The camera shows Tony again for a moment and he gives it a knowing look.]

"Hey Barton! Why the hell are you way up there?"

"I see better from a distance." 

[Clint responds automatically. Tony mutters something that sounds like _dramaqueen._ The camera cuts.]

[The camera opens back again with Tony, walking back in the gym again with something in his hand reflecting off the overhead lights.]

"Hey Barton! It's called hyperopia and I just fixed your problem so you can be on the ground like us normal people." 

[Tony holds up what he brought, which appear to be a pair of glasses. (Hyperopia is farsightedness.)]

"See, now you'll actually be able to see for once in your life, I know it must be difficult for the world to be blurry but this will really improve your sharpshooting skil--"

[An arrow zips through the air and soars directly through one of the frames of the glasses, shattering glass everywhere. Tony stops talking, just looking at the glasses. The camera pans back up to Clint in the rafters, who is sitting sprawled out with a smug look on his face.]

"Maybe you need _your_ eyes checked, Stark. Pretty sure my shot doesn't need improving. Your face might, though."

[Tony glares at Clint and throws the glasses down in frustration before marching back out of the gym.]

"Fucking drama queen."


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mario Kart. There is no further explanation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Except maybe a language warning because yeah obvs.
> 
> And much thanks to [Helena](http://snugglycas.tumblr.com/), for the lovely idea.

December 20, 2014  
11:00 am

[Camera shows Tony Stark holding up a Wii Remote.]

"AVENGERS ASSEMBLE! MARIO KART COMPETITION AT 2:30. BE THERE OR FOREVER BE SQUARE."

_______________________________

December 20, 2014  
2:22 pm

[Camera opens with a crystal clear view of a large room. There is a large, semicircle couch and a few beanbags placed strategically on the floor. The camera pans to the side slowly and professionally, taking in the scopes of the room: the low glass coffee table, the bar on the far right side behind the couch. There are huge bags of chips and snacks and candy, accompanied by drinks of every size shape and color. Across from the couch is a screen that is almost as big as the wall, currently split up into eight different sections. There are eight controllers as well, one for each different color of the rainbow in addition to a black one and a white one, all lined up in a perfectly straight line underneath the screen. The camera pans back to the door, where Tony walks through.]

"Hello, everyone. I set up Jarvis to film our gaming experience for vine. We're going to need all hands on deck for this battle. He's got the room covered and I'm sure things are going to get fairly intense. We're starting in-- " [Tony looks down at his watch.] "--eight minutes. Prepare for the best vines of your life."

[Camera cuts.]

___________________

December 20, 2014  
2:25 pm

[The Avengers begin to file into the gaming room, some of them in awe at the setup. Natasha and Thor enter first. Natasha heads straight to pick out her controller (red) and Thor heads straight to pick out his snacks (Cheetos). Sam and Steve follow, both of them blinking around the room in amazement. Bruce walks in, stops, rolls his eyes, and snatches up the orange controller. Tony and Clint comes in behind him. Tony curses Natasha for taking the red controller and takes the yellow one and a bag of Doritos. Bucky comes in last with Nollaig in his arms, setting her down on the couch before taking the blue controller and settling in a bean bag on the floor.]

"Blue, Bucky? Shouldn't Cap get the blue one?" [Natasha asks, leaning back against the couch from her perch on the arm of it.]

"Nope. I get the blue one." [He doesn't elaborate any, just seems to be eyeing the food on the counter and deciding what he wants.]

"Why did your boyfriend take the blue one?" [Clint asks Steve as he reaches over him to grab an entire box of pizza.]

"Because it's the color of my eyes," [Steve responds distractedly, trying to decide which glass bottle of vintage root beer seems fuller.]

[Clint and Natasha start laughing and Bucky curses quietly under his breath but doesn't move to change the color of his controller.]

_________________________

December 20, 2014  
2:29 pm

[Everyone has settled into their respective places on the couch with their controllers and snacks. Bruce and Tony are in the center of the couch, both fairly alert with the bag of Doritos between them. Thor is relaxing back into the couch, Nollaig on his lap with the "royal purple" controller propped against her fluffiness. Natasha is on the couch's armchair, a single bowl of pudding balanced on one knee and her controller on the other. Bucky's in his beanbag with a root beer and chex mix, and Steve is sitting on the ground next to Buck's beanbag with his back to the couch, stealing Bucky's food and but careful to wipe his fingers off before he picks up his white controller. Clint and Sam are in bean bags too, Clint's by Natasha's feet as she rubs the back of his neck with her toes.]

[Sam attempts to snatch a piece of pizza from the box Clint has on the ground, out of view from where his bean bag is further back than Clint's. A spoon hits the center of Sam's hand and he "ow's" before looking up, glaring at Clint who's not even looking at him.]

"Where did you get a _spoon_?" 

"Shh, powerless wingman." [Tony points a finger at Sam.] "Watch the damn clock, we're about to start."

[Sam rolls his eyes. Jarvis moves the camera to zoom in on the clock. The second hand ticks, ticks, ticks. The moment it hits 2:30 cheers erupt and the camera cuts.]

____________________

December 20, 2014  
2:30 pm

[Camera shows eight different views. The character selection screen shows up. Without even saying a thing, Bruce chooses Yoshi. It's the obvious and most strategic choice.]

[Thor's voice] I believe that Wario is the choice for me. He appears to be a mighty warrior. It even has war in it!

[Nat's voice] King Boo.

[Tony snorts] Um, Romanoff? You do realize that's a slow character right?

I know what I'm doing, Stark. Besides. I like the tongue sticking out thing.

Yeah okay, whatever floats your boat. Or crashes your cart. 

[Steve's voice] There are a lot of options. Which one is Mario?

[Tony's voice] The red guy. With the hat.

[Steve] That's the one I want. Obviously if the game is named after him, he's gotta be the best.

[Bucky chimes in] Then I want to be Luigi.

[Simultaneous snorting.] Wow guys...

[Clint voice] I'm conflicted: Peach or Daisy? They are both so great.

[Tony voice] Uhhh....

[Clint, Nat, and Steve] Shut up, Stark.

[Clint] I like Peach. She's a princess and a blond like me.

[Bruce] What about you, Tony?

[Tony] Diddy Kong.

[Nat] An ass like you should be playing Bowser.

[Tony] Well unlike someone I know; I don't commit gaming suicide.

[Sam] Jesus guys it's just a game.

SHUT UP SAM!!

________________________

December 20, 2014  
2:32 pm

[Camera shows the split screen again. It's complete silence except for the game noises and the occasional food crunch until...]

"I can't believe it." [Tony sounds defeated.] "YOU BLUE SHELLED ME YOU ASSHOLE HOW DO YOU EVEN KNOW HOW TO DO THAT??"

[Steve makes an 'I don't know' noise.] "Practice. Don't be a sore loser though. Natasha is already on her final lap."

"HOW IN THE LIVING HELL DID SHE ACCOMPLISH THAT?? SHE'S PLAYING FUCKING KING BOO!"

[The camera is able to pick up the satisfactory tone in her voice.] "Practice." [Her voice changes to kinda concerned.] "Um... You guys? I just passed Wario... But he's going to other way."

[Thor tilts his head back and starts laughing his ass off.] "While you people played your petty competition, I am enjoying myself." [Sam joins in Thor's laughter.]

____________________________

December 20, 2014  
2:38 pm

[Camera pans over the Avengers in their spots on the couch. Everyone's eyes are intent on the screens. Nollaig winds her way in between Bruce's feet and he reaches down to pat her distractedly, eyes never leaving the game. He suddenly curses, jerking the controller to the side and putting both hands on the controls again. Nollaig meows impatiently. Sam laughs something on the screen as Bucky scowls.]

"Wow Bucky, guessing you guys didn't have game nights in Hydra? That's like the ninth time you've fallen in the lava in the past three minutes." [Sam smirks and Bucky lowers his controller and turns his head slowly to Sam. Sam glances at him and his eyes widen. He scoots a bit further away from Bucky on the couch.]

"I ripped off a wing last time but I am not afraid to rip off your arm, Wilson. I already hate you for hitting on my boyfriend." [Bucky shoots death rays at Sam and Steve snorts.]

"Sam doesn't hit on me, Buck." [Steve says offhandedly, tilting his controller to the side like that is actually going to do anything. His tongue is sticking in the corner of his mouth as Bruce and Clint curse something about "stupid tiny ass lightning."]

"You're joking, right Steve?" [Natasha asks, not moving a muscle besides her thumbs as she flicks them expertly over the controls.] "He hits on you more than I do and I _kissed_ you."

"Yeah, how come you kiss Steve first chance you get but when I meet you _before_ the whole Avengers thing, you totally just played me?" [Tony complains.]

"STUPID DRAGON!!" [Bruce suddenly shouts, looking extremely pissed off and red in the face. Everyone falls deathly silent.]

__________________________________

December 20, 2014  
2:41pm

[Camera is on the screen again, Mushroom Gorge as the different characters are all at very different places in the game.]

"Fuck."

"Dammit."

"Wait, wait, no please no FUCK."

"Oh my god thank you I made it praise the lord."

"Fucking mushrooms."

"HAHAHAA TAKE THAT MOTHERFUCKER!!"

"I will end yo- oh my god you just fucking _missed_ that mushroom."

"Fuck you."

"I fucking hate this level."

"Is this seriously the extent of the vocabulary for the World's Avenge-- godDAMMIT!!"

"Steve!"

_____________________

December 20, 2014  
2:44 pm

[Camera is back on the couch. Everyone is sitting at the edge of the couch and leaning forward intently now, snacks forgotten. Nollaig is playing in a bowl of popcorn. Tony suddenly scowls, moving his head to the side.]

"If you hit me with mud goo on my screen again, I'm taking the "n" out of your name, Clint."

"I think that's the first time you haven't called me Barton. And it's squid ink."

"Yeah, for a second I totally thought he was going to call you Barto and I was like...okay? creative?" [Natasha comments, still thumbing over her controller nonchalantly.

"Can I call you Barto now?" [Bucky asks. Tony curses.]

"Definitely not what I meant."

______________________

December 20, 2014  
2:48 pm

[Camera again shows the screen, playing Maple Treeway. Clint starts making grunting noises along with Bucky followed by a yell from Clint.]

"How come there's no railway on those branches? I quit!"

[Sam pipes up.] "Let me pick it up from here, babe."

[Clint automatically answers] "Thanks boo."

[Nat laughs] "Should I be jealous?"

[Clint laughs too] "Of course not, we're just bird pals."

[On one screen, Mario takes a shortcut as Steve and Nat and Tony and Bruce are on their final lap. King Boo is in the lead.] 

"Suck my dick losers... It looks like I'm--" 

[Just before the white ghost can cross the finish line, King Boo is suddenly cut off. Mario jumps in front of King Boo as the music for finishing the race starts. The rankings show up after Thor once again fails to finish the race. Mario is first, while King Boo is in second. All the sudden, Steve yells.]

__________________________

December 20, 2014  
3:01 pm

[Camera shows Avengers really shocked as Nat straddles Steve and hits him with a pillow.]

"Ow, Nat! What the hell?" [Muffled punches are heard.]

"YOU BEAT ME, YOU FUCKER." [Nat is yelling really loud.]

"Talia, it's fine! It's just a..."

"YOU BETTER SHUT YOUR MOUTH, BARNES!"

[Everybody's eyes are wide as Nat keeps trying to attack Steve, refusing to stop. Bucky is laughing and trying to get in between Natasha and Steve unsuccessfully. Clint whispers a question to Thor about how Steve even knew how to play Mario Kart in the first place, let alone beat everyone. Thor shrugs then suddenly looks horrified as Natasha's bowl of pudding falls off the couch onto his lap. Thor starts freaking out and nearly knocks the couch over in an attempt to get the pudding off of him. Tony starts laughing and throws Cheetos at Nat. Natasha whips around to look at him and Tony screams. Bruce hulks out and tries to help out. Clint hides under the carpet. Sam is trying to keep everybody calm. Everyone is yelling. Everyone is scared. This is intense. Too intense. It should never be played again.]

_________________________

December 20, 2014  
8:48 pm

[Camera shows Bruce, looking exhausted and put out.]

"So that was only the worse idea ever. However, Tony is relentless. He's been playing ever since we got Nat to calm down." [Bruce shifts the camera to show Tony: face scratched up and bruised. His eyes are strangely glassy eyed.] "I think you need a break, Tony."

"No," [Tony's voice is distant.] "I need to win."

[Bruce sighs as he shows the television screen. Tony is in 8th place and only just able to speed up when slips on another banana. He hits the item box and it gives him a Bullet Bill. Tony uses it and he zooms past all the other players.] "Way to go, Tony! Maybe you'll be able to make it this time. Right? Tony...."

[Camera goes to a pale Tony who has dropped the remote. His character is still strapped to an uncontrollable flying cannon on the screen.] "Oh no! TONY! SOMEONE HELP! HE'S NOT BREATHING!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Bullet Bill reference was towards how in Iron Man 3 Tony kept having panic attacks about the nuke he took to space in the New York battle in Avengers. In case you didn't catch that.
> 
> As always, thanks for reading, we'll be writing some of your suggestions in right after Christmas! Feel free to comment more ideas :)
> 
> Much love, MCA
> 
> (The Marvel Cinematic Authors (and all of our first initials because we are awesome))


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Christmas Eve & Christmas Day

December 24, 2014  
7:45 pm

[The camera scans a room filled to the brim with a large collection of presents, at least one hundred in total, all wrapped with bright red and greens and golds with big beautiful bows on top.]

"So, while the rest of the guys were out doing God-knows what, me and Stevie were buying and wrapping presents for all the kids in St. Anne's foster care home. We're taking them later this evening."

[The camera cuts to Steve, who is fast asleep on the couch, with Nollaig nestled in his hair. Bucky makes an affectionate sound at the sight.]

"Some super-soldier he is."

________________________

December 25, 2014  
5:30 am

[The camera swings around a room filled with presents, before landing on a smiling Clint.]

"IT'S CHRISTMAS!!"

[He shouts it at the top of his lungs, loud enough to make the camera static out. A large crashing noise comes from upstairs, before-]

"CLINT IT IS FIVE IN THE FUCKING MORNING!"

______________________

December 25, 2014  
9:00 am

[The camera shows all the Avengers slowly trickling into the main room, rubbing their eyes, still bleary with sleep.]

"Why are we awake again?" [Natasha grumbles, flopping down on the couch.]

"Because presents!" [Clint answers excitedly.] "Okay, who's going to go first? Tony, you go!"

[Muttering, Tony walks over to the tree, picks up one of the presents with his name on it.]

"This is from Clint." [He says tiredly, although there is a bit of a spark of excitement in his eyes.]

[He begins to unwrap it. Throwing the lid of the box aside, he puts his hand in and freezes. His eyes go wide and he gulps--Then relaxes, and picks up a stuffed cat.]

"Hahaha. Fucking hilarious, Barton," [He says, throwing the cat at Clint's head.]

[Of course Clint ducks, and the stuffed cat lands next to Nollaig. She squeaks in surprise and goes running in to hide behind Thor's legs, peeking her head out around the corner. After the aww's and laughter die down, Tony scoots the empty box across the ground with his foot, tossing a piece of wrapping paper at Natasha.]

"You go next, Nat."

_______________________

December 25, 2014  
9:05 am

[Natasha gets up reluctantly, walks over to the tree, and picks up a medium-sized box, casting the wrapping aside. She opens the box, and whips out a gun. Without thinking, she fires twice at the wall opposite. Everyone immediately ducks down, the room goes quiet and still.]

"An M-60 revolver with custom steel bullets. Thanks, Stark," [The corner of her mouth is up in a sideways smile, a bit of honest appreciation in her eyes.]

"You're welcome," [Tony says quietly, still a bit shaken from the loud shots fired into his wall. Beside him, Pepper hisses-]

"A gun is _not_ a suitable present!"

[Tony flashes a quick, slightly apologetic smile her way, then turns to point at Thor.] "Thor, your turn."

________________________

December 25, 2014  
9:07 am

[Smiling widely, Thor goes over to the tree, and picks up a large box. Tearing off the paper covering it, his smile brightens when he takes a large, fluffy blanket. It's white with blue border designs, and when it cascades to open to the floor, it looks huge. Big enough to cover an entire Asgardian.]

"What a splendid present! Now I shall always be able to feel the warmth the winter cat provides! I thank you, spider warrior!"

[He turns to Bucky.]

"Steve! Your turn next!"

________________________

December 25, 2014  
9:09 am

[Stretching, then walking over to the presents in his red and green checkered pajama bottoms, Steve picks up a large, rectangular box. He picks up the tag.]

" _'From the team'_ ," [He reads aloud.] "Thanks guys."

[A large chorus of 'open it!' bubbles up, and Steve rips off the wrapping paper to find a large, wooden box. Brow furrowing, he slides off the cover, and freezes. His eyes scan the bottle, mouthing the words, before looking up at the team, dumbfounded.]

"How did you-"

"Bucky told us about it, how your mom used to keep a bottle for celebrations," [Bruce explains, smiling.]

[Steve breaks out into a large smiles.] "Where the hell did you find it?" [He lifts out the bottle, admiring it.]

"Clint knows a sheep farmer in Kilarney who owns a distillery," [Natasha explains.]

[Clint shrugs,] "We met at the plowing festival." 

"What'd you get?" [Sam asks from behind the camera.]

[Steve looks up at the camera and beams.] "I got Poitín!"

"What is it?"

"Only the strongest man-made alcohol ever made," [Bucky snorts.]

"It means we can get you drunk!" [Tony nudges him with a knowing grin. Steve smiles back excitedly, before clapping Tony on the back.]

"Thank you guys, really."

____________________  
December 25, 2014  
9:10 am

[Sighing, Bucky plods over to the tree, picking up his present, then returning to his seat with Steve and Nollaig. Holding the slender present in both hands, he grins at Steve.]

"This might be the first time you've spent over five dollars on me."

"Maybe." [Steve teases.]

[Tearing off the wrapping paper, Bucky's large grin falters when he sees the present.]

"Oh my God," [he mutters.]

[He picks up the present- a book- and flicks through its pages, before stopping on one.]

"Oh my god," [he repeats, this time his voice wavers.] "Is that-?"

"Yeah, Buck. That's your ma and dad on their wedding day."

[Bucky stares at the photo, before his bottom lip trembles and his eyes suddenly over flood with tears. He buries his face in Steve's shoulder, and Nollaig leaps up and begins to lick his ear.]

"Bucky, do you not like it?" [Steve asks worriedly, wrapping a concerned arm around Bucky's shoulders.]

"No you idiot, I love it!" [He weeps into Steve's collarbone and a chorus of quiet 'aww's' goes up. Steve rubs his hand over Bucky's back as he sniffles.]

_____________________  
December 25, 2014  
9:12 am

[The camera pans around the room, Natasha is dissembling her gun, Tony and Bruce are getting increasingly frustrated with a rubix cube, Thor is playing with Nollaig, and Steve and Bucky are examining the book Steve put together of all their photo's from the 30's, Steve's arm still wrapped over Bucky's shoulders.]

[Sam walks in, with a large cardboard box in his arms that he seems to be struggling with.]

"Alright! Everybody listen up! Now, Clint-"

[The camera turns to Clint, who has a wide, deer in headlights look on his face.]

"--We all know what you _really_ wanted for Christmas. So, we pooled together, and got you something from all of us that you'll actually like. Well, more than like. Pretty sure you're gonna love it."

[Sam crouches down, lowering the box. And out of the top jumps a small, fluffy puppy, who looks around excitedly with wide eyes.]

"A puppy!" [Clint exclaims, as the puppy runs to him with excited, uncoordinated legs. He instantly picks it up and starts covering it with kisses.]

"It's a Shiloh, a German Shepard mixed with a wolly Malamute. They're a fairly new breed, but they have all the cuteness of a German Shepard with the added benefits of softer fur and a fixed skeletal structure. We all figured it was your kind of dog."

"Thank you guys so much!" [Clint is freaking out, trying to pet the dog all over as it tries to lick him all over, bounding excitedly in his lap. He turns excited eyes on the redhead next to him.]

"Natasha! You helped get me a dog!"

"Well hopefully you'll shut up from terrorizing other people about their dogs now," [she answers, but there's a smile on her face.]

____________________

December 25, 2014  
11:24am

[Camera opens on the Avengers kitchen. Nollaig is crouched on the fridge, meowing drastically while the new unnamed Shiloh puppy is barking up at her. Tony and Bruce are arguing over the quantity of rum in the egg nog they're making.]

[Thor is carefully piping frosting onto the cookies Natasha just finished. Nat has a new tray of fresh baked cookies that she carries across the kitchen, setting them down to cool while Clint comes up behind her and wraps his arms around her waist to distract her. She laughs and swats at his hands, but the distraction is a perfect opportunity for Bucky to snatch a cookie from the tray. He waves it in Steve's face - it's decorated like Steve's old shield from his showgirl tour days - and takes a vicious bite out of the side. Steve laughs and tries to wrestle the cookie away from him, per Natasha's shouts that they can't be eaten yet, damnit.] 

____________________

December 25, 2014  
2:57pm 

[Camera is in selfie-mode on Pepper as she holds up a sprig of mistletoe to view. In the background behind her, eggnog is being distributed to everyone. Tony does the honors of spiking Steve's with Poitín.] 

"So Tony has this crazy man-crush on Bruce and we're going to see just how far this bromance goes." [She winks and jingles the mistletoe back and forth. The camera cuts.] 

[The next cut is of Bruce and Tony, both looking up wide-eyed at the mistletoe Pepper is holding over their heads. Natasha shouts in the background.] 

"C'mon, Stark, just kiss him alread--" 

[Natasha is cut off as Bruce lunges forward and crushes his mouth on Tony's. Tony makes a surprised sound before he closes his eyes and kisses back, his hair ruffled up by Bruce's hands. After a few moments Pepper makes a coughing sound and they split apart with wider eyes than before.] 

________________

December 25, 2014  
2:59pm 

[Camera is still held by Pepper as Clint lunges to take the mistletoe from her hand, snatching it to hold over Natasha's head. She laughs and pushes at him but let's him kiss her anyways. Then she breaks to roll away and Clint chases her around the room, landing kisses every ten feet or so as he catches up to her. Everyone is laughing, Natasha the hardest.]

[As they run past Bucky and Steve, Steve reaches out to grab the mistletoe and quickly lifts it over Bucky's head. Before Bucky can realize the exchange, Steve wraps his free arm over Bucky's lower back and dips him down low, kissing him solidly on the mouth with Bucky bent over backwards, balanced solely on Steve's arm. When Steve tugs his arm up to straighten them both back to their feet, he's grinning wickedly and Bucky is looking dazed.]

_______________

December 25, 2014  
3:02pm

[Camera opens on the blinking, dazed Bucky and Steve, who is looking at him adoringly. Thor hurries over to Steve, snatching the mistletoe out of his hand. Steve doesn't take his eyes off Bucky as Thor quickly makes his way across the room.]

[Thor keeps coming closer to the camera, before he reaches Pepper and plants a noisy kiss behind the camera. She makes a surprised sound and Tony spins around.]

"Hey!" [Tony accuses, starting to make his way towards Thor.] "Just because you're an alien god doesn't mean you ca--"

[Thor holds the mistletoe over Tony's head and Tony backpedals, eyes going wide and hands coming up.]

"Okay, okay, big guy you don't have to--"

[Thor kisses Tony's forehead and Tony throws up his hands, making a very annoyed but kind of flattered sound.]

________________

December 25, 2014  
6:46pm

[Camera pans over the floor of the Avengers kitchen, where everyone is spread out on the marble tiles. There is a glass of eggnog in front of everyone, all of them empty. In the center of the circle is a huge plate of avenger and Christmas themed cookies.]

"Pretty pretty soft kitty," [Bruce coos, petting Nollaig's head a little roughly. She meows distressedly.]

"Soft pretty puppy," [Clint argues, pulling his Shiloh closer to him, his eyes sparking from the alcohol. Everybody is kind of hammered.]

"Soft soft pretty Bucky," [Steve coos, drunkenly reaching out to pet Bucky's hair. Bucky tries to duck and falls over sideways.]

"Oh my god Drunk Steve is the best," [Natasha hiccups.]

_____________

December 25, 2014  
7:57pm - 11:04pm

[Jarvis is playing karaoke versions of Christmas songs. Everyone is still drunk enough to be a little crazy. Bruce is making even more eggnog.]

[Steve and Bucky duet to _Baby It's Cold Outside,_ but have to stop as Bucky almost has a panic attack at the line "what if you got pneumonia and died." (Apparently it's a sensitive subject.)] 

[Tony sings _Last Christmas_ to Pepper than changes the lyrics to give his heart to Bruce this year. Bruce is red the entire song. No one stops making jokes about Tony giving different people the arc reactor instead of a heart.]

[Clint sings a very drunk version of _All I Want For Christmas Is You_ to Natasha. She throws cookies at him when he hits the high notes. Or, well, attempts to hit the high notes.]

[Natasha says she can't sing but agrees that she'll dance Nutcracker ballet for everybody if no one ever mentions it again. They sit in awe and are all quiet for once.]

[Thor and Bruce sing _White Christmas_ together and everyone raises their glasses in toast and sing along loudly with the last chorus.] 

[Pepper convinces everyone to sit down and be quiet, then sings an extremely beautiful rendition of _Have Yourself A Merry Christmas_.]

[Everybody tears up.]

[The night closes with Polar Express in the Avengers' movie room. Steve and Clint and Sam and Pepper cry at the end. Bucky softly sings Believe on the way to his and Steve's bed, arm in arm.]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We got a little carried away with the mistletoe sorry xx 
> 
> Merry Christmas!  
> Счастли́вого Рождества́!  
> Nollaig Shona Duit!
> 
> -MCA


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hammers and Nutcrackers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! 1/3 of the MCA is currently in the islands on vaycay so the update was long coming and a little brief, but we hope you enjoy!

December 27, 2014  
9:30 am

[The camera opens on selfie mode with Bucky laughing breathlessly holding the camera up with one hand.]

[The camera pans shakily, until you can see Sam in the middle, running fast and desperately trying to keep up with Bucky and Steve, but panting heavily.]

"On your left," [Steve says]  
"On your right," [Bucky says.]

"Oh, _fuck you_ ," [Sam spits vehemently.]

_________________

December 27, 2014  
10:00 am

[The camera shows Sam walking slowly towards the camera, a sour look on his face.]  
"There he is!" [Bucky says from behind the camera.]

"Sam Wilson, folks, last in the race but number one in our hearts!" [he says as Steve walks alongside Sam, throwing flowers at him.]

"I cannot believe this shit," [Sam mutters as he walks up the steps.]

_________________  
December 27, 2014  
12:00 pm

[The camera shows Thor surrounded by multiple empty chocolate boxes and working his way through another one.]

[The camera switches to Jane in selfie mode, who looks both horrified and amazed.]

"He ate forty-seven boxes of chocolate. Which is four hundred and seven chocolates, estimated."

[She pauses, then whispers-]  
"We've created a monster."

___________________  
December 27, 2014  
1:00 pm

[Clint holds the camera up with one hand, and Steve can be seen in the corner with Nollaig curled in his hair and Clint's dog curled at his feet.]

"All the animals love Steve and I."

[He sits next to Steve and the kitten stretches on both of their laps.]

____________  
December 27,2014  
1:30pm

[The camera faces Sam, who's smiling widely.]

[The camera shows Steve fast asleep with Molinjor on his chest.]

"Yo, Steve!"

[Steve jerks awake, then blearily notices Molinjor on his chest. Sighing, he looks around conspicuously for a second before lifting it up and placing it on the ground, before walking off.]

[The camera turns back to Sam, who looks shocked.]

"Son of a-"

_______________  
December 27, 2014  
2:00pm

[The camera shows Nollaig, who's paws are resting on the head of hammer, and she chews contentedly on the leather strap.]

[Behind the camera Bucky coos.]

"What a good girl."

_______________

December 27, 2014  
6:43 pm

[Camera opens on a very sharp looking Steve Rogers, dressed in a tux with his hair styled to the side.]

"Hello Vine World! I'm taking Natasha and Bucky out tonight - as friends, not as a threesome, thank you Tony for mentioning that earlier you asshole - to a very fancy place. It's extremely secretive where we're going and I think I may actually have Nat stumped which is definitely a first."

[The phone is grabbed away quickly and Steve makes an indignant sound. The inside of a limo pans by before the camera is on an equally-fancily-dressed Natasha, smiling prettily at the screen.]

"Bucky, distract him." [Kissing sounds and more indignant Steve noises fire off in the background before the noises mellow out into softer, happier sounds. Natasha makes a face before turning back to the camera and whispering.]

"I know we're going to the Nutcracker Ballet. And I'm super excited, but it's going to take a hell of a lot more than Steve Rogers to stump me." 

[She winks at the camera and turns her head to look back off screen.] 

"Okay, you guys can stop now. Hello. Boys? Planet Earth? No? Okay..."

_________________

December 27, 2014  
7:19 pm

[Camera is in selfie mode on Bruce, who is holding Nollaig under one arm.]

"So the young kids went off to the ballet, Clint and Sam and Thor are having a pizza guys night, Tony's in his lab, which leaves me to babysit everybody's animals."

[The camera switches around to normal mode to show Clint's puppy running in circles around Bruce's feet.]

"I'm not sure why they gave the guy with temper-management issues a crazy kitten and a psycho puppy to babysit, but who am I to judge? It's not like they're constantly chasing each other all the time. Totally not stressful at all."

________________

December 27, 2014  
7:30pm

[Camera is a little shaky as it follows Clint's puppy, who is yapping up a storm and running around the gym bouncing off of punching bags and workout equipment. A little ball of fluff is chasing him, meowing excitedly. There's a loud crash as the puppy knocks over one of the poles of the boxing rink and Bruce laughs from off camera as Nollaig jumps ten feet in the air and comes running back to Bruce in fear.]

_________________

December 28th, 2014  
11:00 am

[The camera shows Bucky who's grinning excitedly.]

"You guys better see this- Nollaig, c'mere darlin'."

[The camera shows Nollaig dragging Molinjor across the ground by the leather strap.]

"What a good girl! What a clever girl!"

[The camera switches to Thor, who looks puzzled, but amused.]

"So it is the Winter Cat who has been misplacing Molinjor..."


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve Rogers shops at hipster health food stores pass it on.
> 
> Also New Years Eve Shenanigans

December 30, 2014  
11:04 am

[Camera opens on Steve pulling a shopping cart out of the rack, then handing it to the lady behind him. He does this again for a young couple. And again for an older man.]

"Steve, c'mon, we're never going to get food if you keep giving away carts." [Bucky complains from behind the camera. Steve makes a face and gives the next cart to a young pregnant mom, then finally grabs one for him and Bucky.]

[The camera pans over to the doors of the store (which have large letters that say _Whole Foods_ and Bucky mumbles something to Steve in the background.]

"I'm never going to get over how big these places are."

________________

December 30, 2014  
11:12 am

[Steve is weighing a bag of oranges as Bucky wanders around the produce section.]

"Why can't we get Jarvis to shop for us?"

"Because tomorrow is New Year's and we need to make the dishes more personal than that." [Steve responds, picking out a the best avocado and handing it to the lady who is searching through them. She thanks him, surprised.]

"Why is everything so expensive?" [Bucky complains, picking up a tag that says a box of cereal is $3.99]

"Inflation," [Steve responds distractedly, trying to decide between the different types of kale.]

"What's the organic thing and why are you only getting stuff that says it?"

"Because organic is the closest thing they have to the food we used to eat. Everything else has been genetically altered or sprayed with chemicals." [Steve decides on dinosaur kale, bagging it and putting it in the cart as Bucky makes another face.]

"Like the supersoldier serum type chemicals?"

"I think that was the original intention, but it messed up a lot of the food. So more like your serum than mine."

"Fuck you."

"Bucky! We're in public, watch your mouth please."

____________________

December 30, 2014  
11:15 am

[Camera in selfie mode as he finds the bananas and holds them up with a grin before looking over his shoulder at Steve.]

"Steve! Can we get bananas?"

"No! Those aren't bananas," [Steve points and Bucky puts them back down with a confused look.]

"Ooookaaayy?"

[He wanders away from them before he sees a sample stand and stops.]

"Steve, why is there uncovered food in a spaceship-y upside down bowl?"

"It's a sample so you can taste the food before you buy it." [Steve takes the cart and starts down another aisle. Bucky stares at the sample thing before following after Steve.]

"Why? That's...weird." [Steve hands Bucky a grapefruit slice out of another sample container. Bucky takes it hesitantly and eats it as Steve goes on shopping. His face lights up.]

_________________

December 30, 2014  
11:17 am

[Bucky is walking around the store, stopping at the sample containers and taking one from a few, looking confusedly at some others. Then he turns a corner and there is a vender with a table, sampling different kinds of juices.]

"Hello sir! Would you like to try some juice?" 

[Bucky takes one and tries it. His eyes widen and he reaches for another.]

"Can I take one for my friend? He's right--" [Bucky looks behind him but doesn't see Steve] "-around that corner, I promise it's for him, I'm not trying to take two, I just really think he'd like it and-"

[The saleswoman is laughing and holds up a hand for Bucky to stop.]

"It wouldn't matter if you did take two. But yes, of course you can." 

[Bucky lets out a breath and takes the second little cup.]

"I mean, it's just so generous of you guys in the first place to let us sample and I wouldn't want you to think I was taking advantage--"

"Sir. It's quite alright. We're here for you to try them." [Bucky nods and looks down at the two cups in his hands. He seems to realize something.]

"Wow, I've been hanging out with Steve too much. I'm taking these now. Thanks!" [Bucky shakes his head at himself and turns away from the table, already calling out for Steve.]

____________________

December 30, 2014  
11:38 am

[Camera is on Bucky in selfie-mode with Steve in the background, loading bags into a car.]

"So apparently if you bring your own bags, the store lets you take money off of your bill and donate it to charity! That is the coolest thing ever."

[Bucky turns around to Steve, placing a kiss on his cheek. Steve waves Bucky off, mumbling something about an _utter distraction can't even go out shopping_ and Bucky smiles.]

"Steve, I think I like your weirdo self-help yoga-y hipster health food stores."

"You might like them more if you didn't ask questions about everything ever while I'm trying to shop."

"I thought you liked when I asked questions."

[Steve's play annoyance melts into a soft expression and he put his hand over Bucky's to lower the camera. The view is of the car now as Steve voice speaks softly in the background.]

"I love when you ask questions. I love everything about you."

[Bucky makes a noise and followed by the sound of kissing, then a blaring car horn and the video cuts.]

__________________

December 31, 2014  
9:03 am

[Camera opens on Thor and Bruce's faces as they Bruce holds up a traditional Chinese New Year's gong.]

"TWO K FIFTEEN HERE WE COMEEEE!!!"

[They shout in tandem as Thor pulls back the mallot and smacks the head of it into the huge golden circle, making a loud noise throughout the Avengers tower.]

[Screams and curses commence.]

__________________

December 31, 2014  
10:42 am

[Camera opens in selfie mode on Tony Stark, who has just plopped down on the couch next to Bruce.]

"So I know at Christmas there was the mistletoe thing--"

"Not that again," [Bruce groans, throwing his hands up.] "I told you we weren't talking about that."

[Tony continues as if Bruce had never interrupted.]

"--and so I think that when the New York New Year's Ball drops, I mean, there's always been that tradition and it'd only make _sense_ to honor it..."

"Tony. I'm not kissing you at midnight."

"Aww, c'mon Brucey it's just a ki--" [Bruce's hands turn green, Tony screams and sprints away. The camera cuts.]

________________

December 31, 2014  
10:49 am

[Camera is bouncing slightly as Tony runs up the stairs, rounding the corner we see he is following Phil Coulson. Tony is out of breath as he reaches him, Phil is unfazed as always.]

"Agent Coulson! Hey, buddy, so I know this is probably a weird request but you sang with me on Christmas and I know you have to be at least semi cool underneath all..." [Tony pauses, then just gestures at all of Phil.] "...that. So I was thinking -"

"Tony, do you really think that is an appropriate question?"

"Well, I know you have to want to kiss _somebody_ -"

"That's classified." [Phil turns to open the door, walking away from Tony a few feet before stopping to turn and say,] "And sorry, but it wouldn't be you if I did."

[Tony makes a face and the camera cuts.]

_________________

December 31, 2014  
11:32 am

[Tony has the camera in regular mode as he walks up to Thor, who is playing catch with Nollaig and his hammer. She drags it back to Thor and Tony curses something under his breath about _it's not fair that the devil cat can use it like a chew toy and Tony can't even make it budge_.]

"Hey Thor! So there's a New Years tradition on Earth that you really don't want to miss out on and--"

"Tony, Dr. Banner has warned me of your potential request. I'm declining the offer and I fail to see why you would ask for such an act of intimacy amongst people you consider your friends." [Thor cocks his head and Tony throws back his head and groans.]

"It's just a kiss! Why does no one see it's just a kiss?!?"

[Thor shakes his head and throws Mjolnir for Nollaig again, laughing as she pounces on it. Tony pouts and storms out of the room.]

___________________

December 31, 2014  
11:57 am

[Tony walks into the dining room, where Natasha and Clint are having breakfast.]

"Hey! Clint, plug your ears. So Nat, it's New Years and you know that one tradition--"

"Are you asking if I'll kiss you at midnight?" [Natasha asks, setting down the orange she was peeling.]

"Why does everyone keeping interrupting me? It's actually a very convincing speech. But yes, I am. Is that a yes, then?"

[Natasha stares at him a moment. So does Clint. Then she shrugs, picking her orange back up.]

"Sure."

[Tony stares at her, dumbfounded. The corner of Clint's mouth twitches.]

"Count me in too, Stark." [Clint says casually, taking a piece of Natasha's orange. She swats his hand but Clint eats it anyways.]

[Tony looks at Clint confusedly, then Natasha. Then back at Clint.]

"How is that supposed to work? Three people can't kiss at once. I've tried, it's just weird."

[Clint and Natasha smile at each other, both looking a little evil, as Natasha casually answers Tony without looking at him.]

"Then choose one of us," [she says coyly. Tony is confused for another moment before something dawns on him and his eyes widen.]

"But if I chose one over the other....the other's going to be offended and probably slice my throat in my sleep." [Tony starts to back out of the room slowly with his hands up.]

"No thanks guys, I think I'm good...spendin' New Years alone is always better anyways..." 

[He runs in the other direction as soon as he hits the doorframe and Natasha and Clint can be heard laughing in the background.]

__________________

December 31, 2014  
12:39 pm

[Camera shows Bucky through a glass wall, discussing something with Thor and talking with big gestures as the lights reflect off of his arm. Tony is standing at the door, debating whether or not to go inside.]

"He'll probably kill me on spot just for asking," [Tony muses, eyeing the metal arm.]

[He decides to back away and cuts the video.]

____________________

December 31, 2014  
1:54 pm

[Camera is in the game room where the Avengers Mario Kart took place, Sam Wilson is playing Assassins Creed. Tony walks in through the door, looking way too casual.]

"Hey, Sam, my man!" [Tony comes over to the couch and Sam pauses his game and looks at Tony suspiciously.]

"You've never called me by name before, what do you want?"

"Aw, c'mon. We had that whole running-from-the-Russian-assassins bond, remember? So, based on that, I was just wondering if, for you know, New Year's--"

[Sam starts to laugh.]

"No way in hell I'm kissin' _you_ , Tony. Sorrow man, try somebody else."

"THERE IS NOBODY ELSE!!" [Tony storms out of the room.]

_________________

December 31, 2014  
2:34 pm

[Camera is on a nervous-looking Tony who is taking breaths to steel himself. He gathers his courage and pushes open a door, combing back his hair with a hand.]

"Hey, Steve. So, I was just wondering--"

"No." [Steve responds without looking up.]

"I actually have something important to--"

"No."

"I'm not trying to offend you, I just wa--"

"No."

[Tony throw up his hands and leaves the room quietly.]

__________________

December 31, 2014  
3:05 pm

[Camera shows Tony walking into the kitchen, where Pepper is making candycane bark. Tony walks up and throws an arm around her shoulders.]

"Whatcha up to?" [He asks casually, watching her make the treat for a few moments. She doesn't even look at him.]

"Don't think I don't know what you're up to." 

[Tony shrugs innocently, making a who, me? face. Pepper stops what's she's doing and gives him one of her signature I can't believe you Tony faces, just like with the strawberry incident.]

"I'm the last person you came to. The very last. You asked everyone else in this tower before me, so you can kiss your New Year's midnight kiss goodbye." [She turns back to breaking up candycanes.]

"But-" [Tony starts. Pepper breaks a candycane very violently in half. Tony jumps, looks at her a moment kind of guiltily, and leaves.]

________________

December 31, 2014  
3:45 pm

[Camera shows Clint's puppy and Nollaig who are playing with each other. Peter starts making kissing noises. Nollaig approaches Peter, meowing as she goes. She's getting closer and closer to the camera. As Peter starts to back up, the puppy walks over and gently picks the kitten up from the neck and drags her back where she was. The puppy then sets her down and shields her from the camera.]

"Awwwww," says Peter.

________________

December 31, 2014  
10:00 pm

[The camera opens on Steve, who is pouring an almost black-looking liquid into some small glasses.]

"Puitín!" [Bucky exclaims]

"Puitín!" [Steve says, smiling widely.]

[The camera cuts to the Avengers common room, where everyone is standing around, each holding a small glass of Puitín.]

"Sláinte!" [Steve exclaims, raising his glass up and then knocking it back.]

[Everyone else takes a sip, then immediately spit it out because it tastes like _fire_.]

[However, Thor smiles.]

"A noble drink, Steven! Worthy of a dragon, my friend."

_______________  
December 31, 2014  
11:00 pm

[The camera shows Clint standing on a table, holding up a pint glass of beer.]

"AN BHFUIL CEAD AGAM DUL GO DTÍ AN LEITHRAS!"

[The Avengers echo back]

"AN BHFUIL CEAD AGAM DUL GO DTÍ AN LEITHREAS!"

[Behind the camera, Bucky snickers, while Steve howls with laughter]

________________

December 31, 2014  
11:05 pm

[The camera is on selfie mode, with Steve and Bucky looking into the camera.]

"Steve, what did you tell Clint 'an bhfuil cead agam dul go dtí an leithreas' means?"

"'Have a great life'."

"What does it actually mean?"

"'Can I go to the bathroom?'"

[He stares stony faced into the camera for one second, before dissolving into laughter.]

____________________

December 31, 2014  
11:39 pm

[Camera is on the Avengers who are all spreading out on the Avengers' Tower balcony, overlooking the city below. New York is lit up from top to bottom, every street crowded with thousands of people all edging closer to Times Square, looking to see the ball drop at midnight.]

[Tony is talking to Bucky, pointing off in the distance where you can just see the suspended gigantic ball, waiting for the clock to strike midnight. Natasha and Clint lean back against a cooler that Tony brought out, dangling their feet over the edge and overlooking the spectacle.]

[Thor comes over by Tony, clapping him on the back as he passes.]

"Best view in the city, friend."

[Tony smiles, just a little, before turning back to explain something to Bucky.]

______________________

December 31, 2014  
11:58 pm

[Camera is in selfie-mode on Tony as he stands in front of everyone.]

"It's almost 2015. Anybody want to change their minds?" 

[There is a general shaking of heads and "no's" given. Tony scowls, looking behind him to film the hovering ball as the crowds below start to chant the count down.]

"FIFTY NINE, FIFTY EIGHT, FIFTY SEVEN..."

___________________

December 31, 2014  
11:59 pm

[Camera opens in regular mode on the Avengers as they join in the counting, everyone shouting loudly and raising their glasses and smiling and looking about eight hundred times happier than they've ever been. Only Bruce isn't dangling his feet over the edge of the open balcony, choosing to sit right behind Pepper instead.]

"THREE!!! TWO!!! ONE!!!"

[Bucky and Steve lean in and kiss, their hands coming up to cup each other's faces. Natasha leans over to Clint, Bruce pecks Pepper's cheek, Thor kisses Jane, Sam kisses Darcy's cheek and she squeals happily.]

[Tony throws up his hands and then suddenly looks down. Nollaig is curled up on his shoe and reaches out her little head to lick his ankle. He swoops her up suddenly and kisses her forehead. She meows excitedly as the cheers break out below.]

[Tony sneezes.]

[He sneezes again, then begins to choke.]

[The camera topples over as Tony collapses to the ground, going into anaphylactic shock.]

"Someone call a doctor!"

"HAPPY TWO-THOUSAND FIFTEEN AMERICA!!!" [Steve shouts as everyone rushes to Tony. Bucky throws his head back and laughs.]

[The camera cuts.]

__________________

January 1, 2015  
5:00 am

[The camera is on selfie mode on Bruce, who is looking fairly surprised, but extremely tired.]

"Breaking news- Cap has actually gotten drunk."

[Steve and Bucky now stand on the balcony, arms wrapped around each other, and Steve holds the bottle of Puitín in his hand. They sway from side to side, singing loudly.]

"SSSOOOO FELL TO MEeeeEEee  
THE PARTING GLASS  
GOODNIGHT AND JOOOOY BE WITH YOU ALLLLL."

[Steve turns to Bucky]

"I love you," [he slurs]  
"Tá mè i ngrá leat, Séamas Ó Buacháin Barún."*

[Bucky grins.]  
"Tá mè i ngrá leat freisin, Stiofán Mac Ruairí."**

[They begin to kiss, and the vine ends.]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *I love you, James Buchanan Barnes  
> ** I love you too, Steve Rogers
> 
> (P.S. the boys are speaking Irish here, Steve's mother's native language)
> 
> See you guys next year!  
> Happy New Years all over the world!! MCA
> 
> OKAY ALSO WE HIT THE 100th VINE MARK HOORAY ITS DESTINY HAPPY NEW YEARS WOOO


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> wow this one hits like a train.  
> really painful and really stucky.

January 2, 2015  
1:34pm

[Camera is on a video game that's muted, the controller visible in the bottom of the screen, the left hand metal.]

[Steve's voice shouts from off screen.]

"Bucky will you _ever_ do the laundry??" 

[Camera switches to selfie mode as Bucky turns his head towards the door and shouts back.]

"Who the hell is Bucky??" 

[Camera cuts to Bucky walking cautiously into the kitchen.]

"Steve?" [He asks warily, looking around. The screen passes the island and shows Steve curled in a ball on the floor, probably crying.] 

"Oh my god Steve I'm so sorry." [Bucky rushes to him and drops the camera. The screen cuts.]

_________________

January 2, 2015  
5:35pm

[The camera faces Natasha who puts her index finger to her lips.]

"Shhh."

[The camera switches to Steve and Bucky, both dressed in only their boxers. And covered from head to toe in hickeys.] 

{Due to their supersolider healing rates, their hickeys fade less than twenty minutes after they're made - the only person who could be fast enough to ever catch them on camera was Natasha.}

[They are both walking very slowly, groaning at their sore muscles.]

[Steve yawns and scratches the back of his head, then ducks down to kiss the side of Bucky's neck.]

"Jeez Rogers," [Bucky teases as he watches Steve massage his shoulder.] "You really are getting old."

"You're the one that did the damage," [Steve shoots back.]

"Love you, punk," [Bucky grins, as he presses a kiss into Steve's neck.]

[Steve's hand snakes around Bucky's waist.]

"Yeah I guess I love you too, jerk."

________________

January 3, 2015  
12:02 pm

[The camera opens to show Thor, Bucky and Jane all sitting on the floor braiding each other's hair.]

[Thor braids Bucky's hair, while Bucky braids Jane's.]

"And over the right and under the left and bring the middle strand over the left and under the right- you are a fast learner, soldier of winter!"

[The camera cuts to Bucky mooching around the sitting room with a long braid at the back of his hair and two small ones either side.]

________________

January 4, 2015  
7:24 pm

[The camera shows Bucky look lifelessly down at his dinner plate. It's dark outside and he's sitting at the island in the middle of the kitchen.]

[Steve stares at him- obviously pained.]

[He slowly reaches out and delicately takes Bucky's metal arm. He presses a kiss to the palm of his metal hand, and presses it against his cheek.]

"I love you," [he says quietly.]

[Bucky raises his head slowly to look at Steve.]

[Suddenly, he bursts out crying and he lowers his head back on the table as sobs rack his body.] 

[Steve peppers kisses onto his neck.]

"I love you, Buck, I love you."

[Bucky lifts his arms up so that he can wrap them around Steve's torso, his head pressed into it, and Steve wraps his arms around Bucky's broad shoulders, and whispers things into his ear- but the camera can't pick it up over the sound of Bucky's weeping.]

______________

January 5, 2015  
9:15 am

[Camera shows Peter, Tony, Thor, and Clint playing cards on the ground. Steve starts talking behind the camera.]

"Alright, guys. I'm in the mood to paint, who's willing to be my subje-"

[Before even being able to finish, Peter and Tony nearly jump up and down. Steve sighs.]

________________

January 5, 2015  
9:44 am

[Camera shows Steve with his palette and easel and a blank canvas. The camera pans to Peter and Tony in ridiculous poses on the couch. Clint laughs quietly behind the camera. Camera goes back to Steve who is making a face.]

"Are you sure you all can hold those positions for a few hours?"

"Don't worry about us, Cap. Just make sure we look like masterpieces." [Peter quips. Steve smiles fondly and begins.]

__________________

January 5, 2015  
9:49 am

[Camera shows Steve making quick strokes in order to form face structure. He's pretty focused on the canvas. The camera pans to Peter and Tony turning to each other and nodding and then they start jumping on the couch. The camera finally lands on Steve who is making a strained face.]

"ARRRGGHHH IF YOU GUYS DON'T GO BACK TO THE EXACT POSITIONS BEFOREHAND..!" [Clint laughs at Peter and Tony as Steve starts mumbling in Irish.]

_______________________

January 5, 2015  
9:57 am

[Steve's face is starting to crease as he works around the details of the faces. The camera does a quick look on Peter and Tony before going back to the painting. Some giggling comes from the two. Steve narrows his eyes and continues, adding a mole on Tony's cheek. Steve looks back up and gasps.]

"WHERE THE HELL DID THE MOLE GO????" [Steve is starting to fume. As Peter and Tony try to not to hyperventilate from laughing so hard.]

__________________

January 5, 2015  
10:05 am

[Steve is just working on the background now while Peter and Tony take a small break. Peter then chokes a little bit as he looks at the painting.]

"Wh- wh- what is on my face?" [Camera shows Peter's usual face but with a small addition.]

"I DO NOT HAVE A BUTT CHIN, STEVE ROGERS!!"

________________

January 5, 2015  
1:04 pm

[Camera is shaking like crazy, jumping all around and giving all watchers headaches as Bucky runs through the hallways.]

"NOOLLLAAIIIGG!! STEVE WHERE IS MY CAT?? NOOLLAAIIGG!!!"

[Bucky rounds a corner and nearly slams into Bruce, backpedaling to a stop before he knocks into his chest. Bucky's hands instantly fly up and Bruce looks rumpled but mostly unimpressed.]

"Have you seen my cat?" [Bucky asks, sounding kind of panicked.]

"I think she's in Tony's lab," [Bruce answers before stepping around a now very pale looking Bucky.]

"NOOLLAAAIIGG!!!"


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I am sixteen, going on seventeen...

January 5, 2015  
1:06pm 

[Camera opens as Bucky comes storming into Tony's lab, looking extremely pissed off.]

"TONNYYY!!!" 

[Tony jumps and nearly obliterates his own finger, cursing as he turns the machine off and lifts his goggles to glare at Bucky.] 

"You know, I am prone to panic attacks and the last one ended in a large explosion that endangered your boyfriend so you really should just--"

"WHERE. IS. MY. KITTEN." [Bucky's hands are in fists by his side and he is seething with rage. Tony blinks and looks around throwing his arms out.]

"I don't see he--" [Nollaig runs out of a little box and leaps to Bucky's feet, meowing. Bucky sweeps her up instantly, glaring at Tony as he lifts her up to check her over.]

"The hell did you do to her???"

"Nothing! I was just taking blood samples to make an immunity serum so I don't sneeze every time she enters the room!" 

[Bucky glares and storms out of the room, cuddling Nollaig protectively to his chest.]

____________

January 5, 2015  
2:47 pm

[Tony walks in the room. Bucky scoops up Nollaig mid sentence and walks out.]

_____________

January 6, 2015  
11:23 am

[Bucky is standing at the fridge, debating something. Tony walks around the corner and freezes. Bucky turns, sees Tony, and promptly shuts the fridge and evacuates the room without even getting whatever he'd been after. Tony sighs.]

______________

January 7, 2015  
9:20 am

[Tony shuffles into the lab, groaning in complaint. Bruce looks up, making a bit of a worried face.]

"Is Bucky still ignoring you?"

[Bruce asks sympathetically, sliding his finger across a screen to slide the picture to the next screen over. Tony makes an exasperated noise that Bruce appears to take for a yes, then he slides two fingers to expand Bruce's image for him.]

"You know, maybe you should do something nice for him. Show him a movie he'll like or something. Set up a date for him and his boyfriend."

[Tony seems to consider this for a moment, then he looks kind of slyly at Bruce.]

"Speaking of boyfriends..." [Tony starts. Bruce interrupts, not even looking at him.]

"Okay, this is the one warning you get. The next time you say anything along the lines of any of those things you never shut up about I _will_ hulk out on you and I probably _will_ kill you." 

[Tony throws his hands up in the air.]

___________

January 8, 2015  
2:12 pm

[Camera opens in selfie mode on a smug looking Tony.]

"So Barnes gave me really skeptical looks the whole time, but I told him there was a really good movie he and Steve will like, even set in World War 2 and everything. He's actually going to watch it."

[Tony nods victoriously, looking off in the distance.]

"He has no idea he's about to be subjected to more than three hours of terribly annoying singing."

___________

January 8, 2015  
7:23pm 

[Camera in selfie mode on an exasperated looking Clint. He looks around before whispering intently to the camera.]

"Starbucks found out about Sound of Music."

[The camera goes black as Clint covers the lens with his hand and leans in close to whisper even quietly.]

" _Save our souls_."

______________

January 8, 2015  
7:47 pm 

[Camera is held by Sam, who is peeking around the corner to film Steve and Bucky as they dance around the coffee table, singing as they go in circles.]

"You need someone older and wiser, telling you what to doooo. I am seventeen going on eighteen, III'll take caaaare of youuuu." [Bucky is smiling wickedly, his old army hat tipped sideways on his head as he sings to Steve.]

"I am sixteen going on seventeen. I know that I'm naiiivve," [Steve tips his head as he sings and makes a ridiculously innocent face that looks a lot more like Captain America than Steve Rogers.] "Fellas I meet may tell me I'm sweet, and willingly I believe."

[Steve laughs as Bucky makes a face and runs around their imaginary gazebo to sweep Steve off his feet in a bridal carry, his metal arm whirring with the weight. Steve throws his head back and laughs.]

[Sam makes a disturbed noise. The camera cuts.]

______________

January 8, 2015  
8:21pm 

[Camera is held by Sam again, who is cautiously walking into the kitchen where Steve and Bucky are making sandwiches, humming Sound of Music and occasionally looking over at each other with bashful adoring smiles.]

[Sam groans then approaches.]

"So why are you guys so obsessed with that musical?" 

[Bucky looks up, crosses his eyes at the camera and cuts Steve's sandwich for him as Steve puts jam on Bucky's for him.]

"It's era appropriate," [Steve points out, nudging Bucky's hip with his own to make him move.] "And it's really cute."

"Plus there's an army guy who goes off to World War Two and has a sweetheart that's exactly a year younger than him." [Bucky winks and nudges Steve. Steve rolls his eyes.]

"I was not your dame, Bucky." [he gives Bucky a pointed look and adjusts the crooked army hat Bucky is still wearing.]

"You were my sweetheart though...I-III'll take caaarreeee of yooouuuuu," [Bucky sings and Steve smiles brightly and closes his eyes, leaning in to kiss Bucky softly on the mouth. Bucky's grin fades and his hand comes up to cup Steve's jaw.]

[Sam makes another disturbed noise and the camera cuts.] 

 

____________

January 8, 2015  
8:56pm 

[Tony and Sam are pouting on the couch. Tony pours them both another glass of whiskey and hands Sam his sadly. Sam takes it and just keeps staring forward.]

[Bucky and Steve come out of nowhere, running around the couch and singing.]

"Doe, a deer, a female deerrr. Ray, a drop of golden suuunnnn. Me, a--"

"Person who needs to shut up," [Tony sing songs in tune with the song. They ignore him and hold hands as they turn their running into skipping.]

"Fa, a long long way to ruuunnn!"

___________

January 9, 2015  
12:00 noon

[Camera opens in the Avengers communal room. All of the Avengers are there looking solemn, except for Bucky and Steve. Bruce turns to camera to the windows that overlook the extended balcony.]

[The balcony view is of the missing Steve and Bucky. Bucky is still wearing his sideways army hat and he and Steve are sitting by the ledge, dangling their legs off and singing.]

[Camera turns back to the rest of the Avengers inside.]

"It's gone on too long -" [Bruce starts grimly.]

[Everyone explodes and starts shouting and waving their arms in complaint, lots of frustration appears to be directed towards Tony who is doing a lot of shouting and waving arms of his own, gesturing at Steve and Bucky and clearly trying to portray that he had no idea this was going to happen.]

____________

January 9, 2015  
6:23 pm

[Camera opens on Natasha, who is carefully approaching Steve and Bucky, who are nestled on the couch.]

[Bucky is humming sixteen going on seventeen and Steve is sleeping.]

"Hey Barnes, I know you and Steve really like that musical but-"

"It's a classic," [Bucky interrupts. Natasha makes a face.]

"Yes, but-"

"Shh, Steve is sleeping."

[Natasha narrows her eyes but backs out of the room.]

____________

January 9, 2015  
8:34pm

[Camera opens on a very rational looking Pepper, knocking on door with two overlapping stars, a red and a blue one.]

"Boys, I hate to interrupt but there is something I'd like to talk to you abo..." 

[Pepper trails off as she opens the door gently and sees Steve and Bucky. They are slow dancing in the middle of the room while Bucky softly hums Edelweiss.]

[Pepper sighs and closes the door again. She walks down the hallway where a crowd of the Avengers are all waiting.]

"Well?" [Thor asks hopefully.]

"I couldn't do it," [Pepper sighs. The Avengers all groan and throw up their hands. She puts her hands on her hips, making a bit of an apologetic face.] "They're just so happy! It seems wrong to try to squash that."

"Sentiment," [Tony rolls his eyes. Bruce whacks him upside the head.]

___________

January 10, 2015  
3:02 am

[Camera opens on Clint, who is obviously hiding in the ceiling with Natasha. They are both dressed in all black and fully armed.]

"We've got to fucking end this Sound of Music shit." 

[Clint whispers to the camera. Natasha nods sharply in confirmation.]

[They both remove a ceiling tile between their feet. Natasha whispers something that Clint nods to, then they both drop through the opening.]

[Screams commence.]

[Some of the screams sound like Clint.]


End file.
